foster-to-adopt

my soul waits

"i wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word i hope." psalm 130:5

for all of you in a season of waiting. its worth every single minute. Jesus is birthing something inside you that will flourish one day. may you be filled with HOPE today.

these two daughters were worth the wait. the husband and i waited for days, weeks, & months upon months for these little humans to enter our life. the hardest part was what the Lord took me through from the moment He started showing us we were called to adoption sooner than we thought. we had always talked about adoption like it was a fleeting thought that would one day happen. my plan was to have some children and adopt a baby from overseas. well thats not the plan Jesus had for us.

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so the convo of having a family started. every single time we kept hearing the Lord say "wait, i'm not releasing you to move forward."

month after month. we never felt like it was time but you better believe my heart was ready for a little babe. i knew Jesus was preparing me for motherhood and i started to question why we both didn't have peace about starting a family. around this time many of my friends started to announce they were pregnant & i'd start to notice EVERY SINGLE BABY around me. not fun. i remember crying out to God like i was telling Him things He didn't know.

then came the dream. | read the dream here |

after having the dream that we were adopting a little babe is when the waiting got real deep. real fast. i struggled for a solid two weeks - just weeping, crying out to God, & worshipping. it was the most intense few weeks of my life. Jesus birthed something deep inside me. i know a piece of it was adopting the twins but i also know theres more to His story.

"a father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling." pslam 68:5

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Jesus is the same yesterday, and today, and forever. i'm thankful for the waiting. as challenging as it may seem only good things can come from it. it might not look like you have visioned. "my plan" was nothing like i had thought but i wouldn't have it any other way. embrace the waiting. may your faith increase & may you live fully where Jesus has you today.

for those of you in the throws of fostering - LOVE like your little babe won't be there tomorrow. by God's grace i never struggled with giving these little ladies ALL of my love. i loved at the capacity that i knew how. He will give you all the grace you need in the process.

i love seeing Jesus show off.

let my ceiling be your floor. it doesn't have to be a scary process. we would do it all over again.

headband | brielasbowtique || gold pants | trendytwinscompany || shoes | nordstorm worth the wait shirt | handmade with gold fabric paint

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a mother's blessing

i'm not sure where this sweet little letter came from but thank you to whoever sent it to me. this last week i was cleaning out all the adoption paperwork and found this little blessing under mounds of papers. i remember reading it when we first started the process of foster to adopt with the twins. i absolutely lost it. ugly cry lost it. in a good way.

it doesn't matter how you become a mother.

it's a blessing.

the letter showed up at the perfect time with the sweetest little voice telling me that i was made for this. my whole being knew it too. i was made to be a mother & i'm overjoyed it was through adoption.

a mother's blessing

 

"once upon a time there were two children ready to be born. so one day they asked God: 'they tell us you are sending us to earth tomorrow, but how are we going to live there being so small and helpless?'

God replied, 'among the many angels, i chose one for you. she will be waiting for you and will take care of you.'

'but tell me, here in heaven, we sing and smile; that's enough for us to be happy.'

he said, 'your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you every day. and you will feel your angel's love and be happy.'

'and how are we going to be able to understand when people talk to us, if we don't know the language that men talk?'

'your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweetest words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak.'

'and what are we going to do when we want to talk to you?'

God said, 'your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray.'

'i've heard that on earth there are bad men, who will protect us?'

'your angel will defend you even if it means risking it's life.'

'but we will always be sad because we will not see you anymore.'

'your angel will always talk to you about me and will teach you the way for you to come back to me, even though i will always be next to you.'

at that moment there was much peace in heaven, but voices from earth could already be heard, and the children in a hurry asked softly,

'oh God, if we are about to leave now, please tell us our angel's name.'

God silenced all fear when he said,

'your angel's name is of no importance. you will simply call her mommy."

 

last year was my first mother's day with our little ladies. i can't believe how teeny tiny they were. just shy of 3 months old & in the throws of fostering. we had no idea what was going to happen with our little family in those days. i held on to the fact that these two made me a mommy & there was no going back!!

happy early mother's day to all the mamas out there! even if you are dreaming of the day you hold your sweet baby - God's made you with a mother's heart. i did lots of waiting, crying, and yearning & i'm so thankful it happened in the most perfect timing. praying for all of you mamas yearning for your day to come. it's coming.

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the phone call

"this is a blog post from june of 2014 when i was updating our friends & family about the adoption"

one phone call changed my life forever.

on march 3rd, hunter and i got "the call" about our placement for the foster to adopt journey we are on. that day my life changed forever as i walked into the great unknown of motherhood. in the many months preparing for our little family, i did not know what to expect on the day we would meet our babes. i can remember walking into the room just weeping at the thought of letting them have my whole heart. in that moment i felt such a grace to be able to fully love. looking into those sweet eyes, i knew i had no chance of holding back. even if our current family changes - these little babes made me a mom and they will forever hold that place in my heart!

the adventure of foster to adopt - the process can be scary. there are so many unknowns but at the end of the day it's worth it. these little life's are worth everything. each day we wake up in the morning thanking Jesus we are able to love unconditionally. in the beginning of this process i would hear things like guard your hearts and be careful because you don't know how long you will have them. what we came to, is that Jesus doesn't withhold love from us, so why should we? you are right- it is MUCH safer to love at arms length but we have been entrusted with a LIFE that needs so much LOVE. not knowing what environment the little babes could go back to, gave us all the more reason to love fearlessly. they are in need of more love than any of us can comprehend. we are delightfully overwhelmed that we have been chosen to be their parents for however long. i am falling more in love each day and i know i will never regret that!

C and P

now, we need prayer. our hearts desire that Jesus' will would be done over the babes life. only He knows their destiny and the family they are supposed to be with. do i believe that is with us? yes, but there is so much more to the story than just our desires to be fulfilled. i want Aycock to be their last name as soon as possible. but, i am learning this is a process for a reason. there are so many people you come in contact with along the way. all the different meetings, court hearings, and appointments are for a purpose. there is a bigger picture to the story - it is about trusting Jesus along the way.

thank you for joining us in this adventure!! i hope to be able to share as much as possible along the way. we do have to spare you all of the juicy details until adoption is official. until then please keep us in your prayers.

"this is a blog post from june of 2014 when i was updating our friends & family about the adoption"

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our greatest adventure

"this is a blog post that i wrote on jan. 26th of 2014 as we announced to our family and friends about the start of our adoption journey"

we've got a story for you & its all about Jesus. we are so excited to finally share our journey with you. there have been lots of tears, joy & redeeming love through this process. so here we go...

huntman + kels + baby aycock = family of 3 or 4

h and k

the aycock's are adding a new addition to our family! the key is, we don't know when our baby will arrive.... you guessed it! we're going to be fostering to adopt our first child!!! i know many of you are wondering why in the world we would be doing this first but don't worry! we had those questions too. that's why this story is all about Jesus.

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before getting married, hunt & i knew adoption would "one day" be a part of our story but we never really talked about when "one day" was. we just knew that we would have our children and adopt eventually. or at least that's what we believed in our hearts. that's until Jesus decided to literally flip our world upside down in just a night. it's like an etch-a-sketch, you draw a picture of what you think your life is going to look like & hand it over to God. He smiles, tells you that He has something greater in store for you, and you hand it back over to Him. He literally shakes up the etch-a-sketch right in front of you & draws a different picture of His plans for your life, that are better than anything you could imagine on your own. that's what happened to hunt & i. we thought we would start trying to have a family over the next year but we never felt the peace of the Lord to start that process. my heart was so confused because the Lord had me on a journey preparing me for what I thought was motherhood. boy, was i struggling! it felt like Jesus was withholding something from me that He had created me for. as soon as I was able to share my heart with hunt, Jesus gave me a dream one october night.

you know the kind of dream that's so real you can feel the emotions of the dream even days after you have woken up? that's the kind of dream it was. in the dream, hunt & i had a carseat and diaper bag in hand as we walked into the hospital. immediately i looked down at my stomach to feel if there was a baby bump. i was thinking "of course we are walking into the hospital because i'm about the birth our baby!" but there was no baby bump. as we were walking into a room, the nurse handed us our child, and congratulated us on our new baby. all i remembered was complete joy, i was overwhelmed with lots and lots of tears seeing our child for the first time. as i was looking down on the dream, we were there for one purpose, and it was to pick up our baby. the entire time my hand was still on my stomach, i was a little confused but knew that i had not birthed our baby. as hunt & i headed home, we arrived to a house full of people & a once guest bedroom turned nursery complete with all of the baby essentials. and then i woke up.

after a dream like this you can imagine i would be waking up screaming with joy to tell hunt the good news. that was definitely not the case. it actually took me a while to be able to share the dream with him. it was so real and i knew Jesus was telling us something. it scared me. i had to grieve the idea of birthing my first child and life in the order i felt it should go. Jesus was and has been faithful and kind as He revealed His perfect plan for our life and our little family.

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and that leads us to today!

we've chosen our agency, filled out mounds of paper work, had our home-visit and we're on the road to meeting our sweet baby! we're moving as quickly as we can because the need is great and our hearts are yearning for our child. we aren't sure when we'll welcome our newest aycock, but we're expecting to be a family of 3 within the next few months.

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so here we are! we welcome you on this journey with us as we trust God and watch His goodness unfold in our life. we would love your prayers as we walk into this great unknown following a God who knows all. we love you & are so thankful for your love, support, and prayers.

big thanks to our wonderful photographer: kelly gilgenbach

"this is a blog post that i wrote on jan. 26th of 2014 as we announced to our family and friends about the start of our adoption journey"

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